Nexus Biographies


The Me

*Speaks like your retarded cousin. You know, that one retarded cousin we ALL have.*

I feel the need to force my tale in the lost mines on you all.

It all started out, I followerd a big trail of people and found the lost mines (Funny how many times have we found the lost mines then lost them again?) anyway, I enter the mines.

Aww. I find myself a cute little squirrel! Aww.. CHOMP AHHH then the damn little squirrel tore my legs off. but luckly they grew back. Then I found out thats the people were mining up mud and clay, so I joined in. I got myself lots of mud and clay and then some guy tried to get me drunk on water, but I wasn't thirsty, so I made Coco from my mud and clay instead. It didn't taste good so I saved it. Then I killed a hundered million mutant squirrels and stole their acorns. After that I went a found some guy who was whining about his job like everyone in nexus, so I asked himm about fishing and he started crying so I copied his keys. Then I also found a prisioner key.

Later on I beat this stupid rabbit right on the head until it popped, and then I took its straw, and then I bit the head of this other rabbit boss thing and took its woody. And THEN I went and lit my acorn on fire, and THEN I went and made myself a key from all the squirrels acorns.

SO I go check out the main gate, cross it and then, a leech bit my head off, so I grew it back, however I was SO furious that my body was stricken with UNQUENCHIBLE RAGE I then picked up the leech by the tail and beat it against the wall until its guts flew out like pretty pretty fireworks.

So then I was chased by a bunch of multi colored confetti bugs until I found a camp and dug me up some fresh peas, and I ate them good, but I needed more so I dug up more. Then I avoided a bunch of stupid people trying to steal my underwear, (except there was this one that looked like a nagnang man, so I grabbed him by the head and used him as a giant club to beat the living hell outta all the other crazy salesmen who were chasing me) and Then I traded another bum my fresh pea for some hard wood. I took this magic wood back to the hippie guy in the big tent and he made me my very own KNIFE that made kitty cats appear!! I got to admit I was scared the first time a cat appeared, much so that I grabbed the cat by the tail and smacked my friend klogg in the face with it until both him AND the cat were unconcious and mentally retarded..

As you can see, there were many occasions during this event in which my anger and rage were RELEASED! (Especially when that damned leech bit my head off) However this adventure was most likely the funnest one since the last lost mines.